No More Phony Taxes

I started my taxes a month ago, they have been sitting on my desk ever since. But, I'm glad for that because today I learned that I will pay $60 less in tax than I thought I would.

This is the year that our wonderful government is going to allow us credit for the Federal Telephone Excise Tax paid since 2003. My Dad told me about it this morning and I am jacked (no pun intended) about collecting more some cash from the phone companies thru the feds.

Let me give you some history about the tax: In April of 1898, the USS Maine exploded and sunk.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Maine_%28ACR-1%29

This got us really mad at because the USS Maine was like a really really nice boat. We didn't really know that Spain caused the sinking, we just needed someone to lash out at. So, we declared war on Spain. This is what started the Spanish American War. It ignited the rallying cry "Remember the Maine! It was a really nice expensive boat!". We've learned a lot since then and we would never lash out in a fit of war against another country with limited information. Anyway, because of the war, the government needed money because they must have used 30 days same as cash to pay for the boat. So, they instituted a tax on telephone service to finance the Spanish American War. Back in 1898 a tax on telephone service was largely targeted on the rich people who had phones.

Well, this must have been an expensive war because the tax still remains today. If you look on a phone bill and it lists "Federal Excise Tax" you are still paying a 3% tax on your long distance charges. However, the Treasury Dept. will stop billing it after August 1 and you can file for a refund of all tax paid after March 1st 2003. YAY!

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/telecom/2006-05-25-phone-tax_x.htm

You can do this by filling out a form 8913 and list all the tax you paid since March 1st. You even get interest back on the money. But, my OCD isn't bad enough to cause me to keep all my phone bills since 2003. I probably burned my 2003 phone bills a few months ago. The form is also very involved and involves square roots, signatures in triplicate and a sprinkling of Holy Water. So, if you don't have all your records, there's a standard amount that you receive based on the number of dependants you claim and you don't have to fill out a 8913.

If this blog was funny, it's probably lost all it's humor by now so I think I'll just shift my mission to get the word out and make sure you get the cash you deserve. So, please do one of the following for me:

* Fill out a form 8913 if you have all your phone bills from March 1st, 2003. Add up all the Federal Excise Tax you paid on your phone bill for each year and add the interest according to their calculation.

or:

* The easier way is to take the standard amount. Make sure you include in your tax form which is the following:

0 dependants $0 (calculate it according to form 8913 from whatever phone bills you have)
1 dependant $30
2 dependants $40
3 dependants $50
4 or more dependants $60

You or your tax person should put this amount on form 1040 line 71, form 1040A line 42 or form 1040EZ line 9. You could theoretically refile your taxes if you forgot this or weren't aware. *

That's your way of telling the government, Ma Bell and Spain to go and poo on themselves.

Remember the Maine!

*Always consult your tax professional. Mike is in no way, shape or form a tax professional and shall be held harmless of any financial ruin or emotional trauma caused by seeking a refund for Federal Excise Tax. Do not operate heavy machinery or attempt to drive a car while filling out a form 8913. Stunt driver on a closed course. Do not attempt.