Some Good Business Ideas I'll Never Go Through With...

...because I am too busy working for the man.

Testosteroni -- Pasta

Missing or craving a man in your life? Testosteroni pasta would be manufactured to resemble the parts of the male anatomy you miss. Not just elbows, mind you, the good stuff. Do not overcook, for obvious reasons.


Carpet Diem -- Flooring Outlet

Carpet Diem is the home of the "seize the carpet" daily specials, where the price of one type of carpet is reduced drastically to attract customers. But, the sale only lasts one day, so you had better act quick!

No Car Left Behind -- Late Night Taxi Service

This business model capitalizes on drunk people who are too intoxicated to drive but do not want to leave their car stranded by calling a taxi. You call a pager number left with the bartender (business cards would be ideal) and No Car Left Behind responds via folding bicycle. The crack staff of late night cyclists will travel to the establishment where you most recently found yourself shit-faced, fold the bicycle, stow it in your trunk and drive your drunk ass home. Charging you triple what a taxi cab would.