Squeek The Fish Has an Intestinal Problem

In the last episode of Mick's Domestic Animal Kingdom, Mick rescued the two family fish from certain death when the cat tipped their bowl over.

The cat has since been castrated and things now seem to be going quite smoothly, except when he poops on the couch in protest.

Goldie, the goldfish has recovered completely. But, Squeek, the Black Moor has since encountered problems controlling his bowels. I thought this to be a one-time effect after his Near Fishy Death Experience (NFDE), but it seems the problem is here to stay...


Geez.

I wanna reach in there and yank it off of him. But, I'm afraid I might pull out his large intestine. I especially feel bad for him because fish supposedly have a three second memory, which means he thinks "Oh man, I have a huge string of poo hanging off me!" and then he forgets about and then thinks "Oh, man, I have a huge string of poo hanging off me!" and then he forgets about it...

Whelp, you can't tell from the photo, but some of his fully four inches of fishy-poo is colored white, which for my European friends, means "coloured white".

This begs the question; "What about Squeek's diet causes him to have some brown colored poo and some white colored poo? He eats the same damn thing every day. No?

Here at The Aquademic Institute of Fish Poo Studies, we ask the tough questions about fish poo and we courageously seek answers to those questions using a protocol we like to call Fish Poo Follow-Through.

So, we contacted the manufacturer of Squeek's fish food, Tetra via their online feedback.

We submitted the question: "My Black Moor (Squeek) has HUGE dangling fish poo, like 4 inches. Wow! Why is some white? It seems that would uncomfortable for him, wouldn't it?"

They didn't answer. But, we at the Aquademic Institute don't give up that easy. So, we emailed them again, posing a more legit-sounding question:

"Hi, I sent you an email about my Black Moor's white and voluminous poop. I'm wondering if it's the food. I am worried it is making him sick and I need to switch to another brand. Thanks, Mike."

And we anxiously await their reply.