Lack of Reality Bytes

I had an enlightening visit with my buddy Wally yesterday. Wally just turned 88. I arrived at the nursing home about 4:45pm. He was sitting in the dining room with his usual dinner mate.

She introduced herself. I couldn't hear her when she told me what her name was, so for the sake of simplicity, let's call her "Millie". I sat between the two and talked to them while Wally periodically pointed to his watch, showing me how late dinner was.

A few minutes in, Millie announced "look what I got!" and out from under the table, she pulls from her lap a baby doll dressed in pink. I reply "Wow. She's adorable!". Millie then says "Yes, she's 5 months old".

* hoo boy... *

A social worker gave me some impromptu training on stuff like this; stay in their version of reality. When my aunt first showed signs of her Alzheimer's disease, we kept making the mistake of pointing out all of her delusions. Telling her that mother was dead, for example, is of very little reward to someone who will forget that fact in 3 minutes. It's also quite hurtful when it's like the first time they've heard it.

So, to further test the situation, I asked her, "Is she sleeping though the night?". "Oh yes." Millie replies.

Millie must be a Mom. I bet she was a good one when she was younger.

Wally describes to Millie how he and I go way back. He asks me "How long have we known each other? Fifteen years?". It's been more like four or five. So, I told him it was a little less than fifteen. Wally asks again, "Eleven years?". "Yep", I said.

Between Millie and Wally, it was like a one-two combination punch of dimensia.

This minute or two of dialog left me with a very distinct impression: You might not like your version of reality. You might feel that you don't have enough time or money, that people in your life aren't giving you as much love or respect as you feel they should. Or even worse, your favorite TV show might have been cancelled. But, at least it's the truth. And you can then react to that truth in any way of your choosing. That is a power we sometimes take for granted.

Because, if you're unlucky enough to live deep into your eighties, it's very likely that you'll be unable to decifer what's real and what's not. Enjoy while you still can.