I have the worst cell phone service in the world; Virgin Mobile. Using it feels about as uncomfortable as being a virgin. But, I don't have to commit to anything except like sending them $20 every 90 days. So, it works if my car breaks down, well, as long as I break down within a 50 foot radius of a cell tower.
One of the perks are the random, errant text messages. You might remember last time, I made a friend named Molly. Well, whattaya know, I had another random encounter today while I was driving to work!
Here's a word for word transcript:
Stranger: Hey you what the **** is up <(.B.r.e.)>
(except instead of "****" she said a bad word)
Me: I have dry skin on my face, that's what's up!
Stranger: Well hot damn. I am very pregnant thats whats up with me. Your bff and i were just wondering how you have been <(.B.r.e.)>
Me: Congrats on being pregnant. At least you are very pregnant instead of just pregnant. That means you tried really hard!
Pregnant Stranger Lady: Ha not really just having a really hard pregnancy in and out of the hospital alot. <(.B.r.e.)>
Me: No fair! I can't say anything funny to that!
Pregnant Stranger Lady: Its ok we will let it slide this once your bff wants to make sure you have been his number, do you <(.B.r.e.)>
Me: Of course! Where would I be in life if I had not been my bff's number?
Pregnant Stranger Lady: Ha ok good. <(.B.r.e.)>
(two hours pass while I'm in a meeting)
Me: So, happy valentine's day. What's your favorite color?
And that's where we left off.
So, someone tell me:
What's a "bff"?
And did I ask the wrong thing when I asked the favorite color? Is that where I blew it?
* Shucks. *
Happy Valentine's day anyway, pregnant stranger lady.
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