My Easter Bunny Can Kick Your Easter Bunny's Ass!

I have a problem. My family is too generous with my kids on the holidays.

Yeah, I should be happy about this. And, part of me is. But there's also a part of me that says...

"Hey! Nobody gave me all this stuff when I was a kid!".

And it's true. I don't remember receiving any gifts from my grandparents at Christmas or Easter. They would (maybe) give me some money. Only Santa and The Easter Bunny would really give me gifts. I think this made the holidays seem very exciting and unique.

Whelp, for several reasons, my kids get gifts in "waves" on the holidays. We live far way from our parents. Nonetheless, Santa and The Easter Bunny get some stiff competition every year.

This year, the kids had "Christmas" six times. They not only got a visit from Santa, but they got a Christmas gift at the play group party (that isn't even a play group anymore), they had Christmas with my brother's families, with my in-laws, with my Dad and with my Mom.

When we drive back from New York in the winter, there's sparks flying out from under our minivan as it bottoms out from all the weight.

I know, I know...I should be thankful to have such generous people in the family. Also, things are different these days. When I was a kid, there was just the "toy section" at Kmart. Now, there's "Toys R Us" and whole stand-alone stores dedicated to nothing but toys filled with little bed-wetters crying to their mommies about how they want Webkinz.

Argh...Webkins...

I'm afraid my kids will grow up with too much "stuff" and I worry they won't appreciate all the work that goes into acquiring "stuff". Or even worse, it will get them used to the idea that you don't have to work to get "stuff". It just falls in your lap.

And also, I'm supposed to be Santa and The Easter Bunny, dammit!

In two hours, it will be Easter. My family just spent a whole week with the in-laws in Myrtle Beach. And, they already got some Easter stuff from their grandparents...

...and this includes a friggin' Webkin.

Argh...Webkinz...

So, the Easter Bunny heard about this, and he felt threatened. Not to be outdone, he hopped his white, cotteny ass over to the grocery store with the intention of buying some big-ass chocolate Easter Bunnys and a 12-pack of beer. But, he just about laid a few pellets in the aisle when he saw that almost all of the bunnys were damaged.

Almost all of them had their heads and/or ears broken off.

It was like bunny 'nam.

But being the stubborn little rodent that he is, The Easter Bunny pressed on and found two huge chocolate bunny's. They are about two feet tall and they were the only two left in the store that were intact.

So, I dunno what my kids are bringing back from Myrtle Beach. But if it's bunny's, they better be close to two feet tall.

Cus there's some big and buff bunny's sitting next to my kid's bedroom that are gonna kick their cotton-tailed asses!

Happy Easter!