Wow. Cycling isn't the only sport where people dope? Have you guys read the Mitchell Report, the investigation of steroid use in baseball?
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1213071mitchell1.html
It's big. Like, hundreds of pages long. I think it's on Report Growth Hormone.
The thing I am most struck with is the clumsiness of the players. Either these guys are extremely brazen or just flat-out not too bright. I'm gonna go with the latter of the two.
I'm not the sleaziest of guys. But, I understand the need to protect what butters your bread. Many of the players named in the report didn't do the league minimum in that department.
So, here's a list of "dopey moves" made by the dopers and how a person with minimal common sense could have acted a little differently and possibly kept their name off this document.
Dopey Move #1: Don't pay for illegal stuff with a check.
The Mitchell report shows photocopies of the checks some players wrote for steroids. Can you say bus-ted! I think they'll have a hard time explaining why they wrote a check for thousands of dollars to a person charged with distribution of steroids. It sure as hell wasn't for girl scout cookies. Sheesh! I'm surprised they didn't write "steroids" on the memo line.
Pay cash, dummies!
Dopey Move #2: Don't let people you don't trust inject your heiney with steroids.
Other damning info arose from cooperative witnesses who actually injected the steroids in the buttocks of the players.
Have a friend stick you in the ass. Isn't that what friends are for? If I were a pro athlete on illegal substances, I'd sneak them home and let my wife stick me. Hell, she'd probably even like it.
and finally...
Dopey Move #3: Don't brag about your steroid use to everyone.
I think this is self explanatory. Well, maybe I should explain further in case any pro ball players are reading this: No talky 'bout roidys!
It's going to be interesting to see all the defenses flying in the face of what seems to be a "caught red-handed" situation.
What excuses will they use? Maybe we'll see the high school one: "Ummm...I bought it for a friend and I was holding it for him!"
People pay a lot of money to see these guys perform with their bodies. So, enhancing their performance with muscle-building, nut-shrinking juice is flat-out fraud.
I think they should let these guys come back and play. But, they should have to hit or throw a ball that is four times the weight of a regular baseball.
That would rock.
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