Stupid Letters Series #1: Nad's Hair Removal Gel

I watched 5 minutes of the Democratic National Convention and decided it would be more fun to watch cement dry.

Instead, I decided to dig up some old memories when times were a bit simpler in my life. During which, I wrote stupid letters to corporations to see what kind of response I could get.

Here's one I wrote to the producers of Nad's Hair Removal Gel back in 2002:


Public Relations
Nad's Hair Removal System
9701 Wilshire Blvd.
#1111
Beverly Hills, CA

February 24, 2002

Hello my friends,

I write to you during summer and receive no reply. Is o.k. though. I am professional bicycle racer from Italy. I use your product a lot on my legs. I asked you in my last letter to be my sponsor so fans can yell "Go Nad's!". But, that is no longer the problem as the wonderful people at Dave's Septic Cleaning Systems are now my sponsor.

I have a problem. I have what we call in Italy "Una Hernina" (a small hernia) from bike racing. Let me give you a hint; if my abdomen was Italy, my hernia would be way, way down in Sicily, if you know what I mean.

I will have surgery soon. The doctor says I need to remove hair "down there" before the surgery. I am so afraid to use a razor down there. Is it possible to use Nad's Hair Removal Gel? In other words, can I use Nad's on my nads? Please write me back. I am so embarrassed to call you. I am afraid I might make someone angry with me. I only have a few more months and I am very afraid about the hair removal. Thank you.

Your friend,

Miguel Canonsito


Their response:




Dear Mr. Canonsito,

This letter is in response to your correspondence to Nad's regarding the hair removal for your surgery. Please be advised, I am no medical professional, however, I don't think Nad's would be a good idea for "yours", as I believe the hair removal gel would be far more painful in that area opposed to a shaver. The hospital will do it for you, won't they? The medical staff is trained to do this carefully for you. The choice, however still is yours to make as to which procedure to use. I apologize for not being of more assistance. Good luck with your surgery.

Sincerely,

LaTece Watts
Aussie Nads Corp Customer Service