Sign Language

Hi.

I'm on vacation.

In Newark Valley, NY.

Tourism is becoming more prevalent in Newark Valley, now attracting 4 visitors per year.

Us.

Whelp, every year, I have this sort of tradition when I visit NY. I locate and change the letters on a marquis sign to read something funny. This is serious business. Actually, no it isn't.

Some of my past works of art include:

Visions Credit Union: Come in for a free anal probe
Kil Kare Speedway: Our undies have skidd marks
Newark Valley High School: Big jugs receive an A

But over the years, I have developed a code of ethics:

Rule #1: Never hit the same sign more than once.
Rule #2: Never change the letters around to read anything extremely vulgar.
Rule #3: Never get caught and arrested.
Rule #4: Change signs far away from Dayton, OH so if rule #3 is violated, my boss never finds out.

This year is Slim Pickens. Not the country singer. I mean there's not much to choose from.

Right in town there's a diner with a sign that reads "Experience Cook Wanted". I think signs that are already misspelled deserve special attention.

So, what can "Experience Cook Wanted" become? The possibilities are limitless.

Now is your time to submit input. Yeah, I could replace an "O" with a "C" and be done. But that would slightly violate rule #2 and just seem too damn...easy.

I do have standards, ya know...

Bye.