Serving Suggestion

What the hell does this mean?

Like, when you look on the side of a box of Rice-A-Roni and it shows a picture of the Rice-A-Roni lookin' all fluffy and lovely and for some reason it states "suggested serving" or "serving suggestion"?

See? I scanned the box just for you:

Okay, are people so helpless and unimaginative that we need this kind of direction and the food company or food box-maker people are just looking to help us out? I wouldn't have thought to arrange my Rice-A-Roni on a plate and daintily stick a fork into it? Actually, that's not my stylie. I'm more of a spoon guy. But it was great suggestion!

Using that special process called "looking", I have taken a notice of this practice. After much data taking, I submit to you that it won't say "serving suggestion" if the picture on the package is a drawing. It's gotta be a photo. This must keep people from accidentally ingesting cartoon green beans, or somethin'. Once I saw a can of carrots that showed a photo of the carrots sort of magically hanging in the air and it said "serving suggestion". Now how the hell am I gonna pull that off!?

When I used to not watch NASCAR, I bought a can of beans that was the special NASCAR edition. I guess NASCAR and baked beans have a long, storied partnership. I fell for the marketing ploy and bought the special edition can because like...hey, race car beans, man! This can showed a picture of Tony Stewart hoisting over his big, fat head the Winston cup, or Nextel cup, Piston cup, whatever the hell cup...cup on the front. I would have scanned this for you, but I ate the beans and round cans will roll off my scanner. Anyhow, the photo of Tony took up the whole front of the can and there were no beans to be seen. But the can said "serving suggestion", which means we should eat Tony? Or maybe...oh yeah! There were beans in the big trophy cup and we just can't see them? Always celebrate a victory with a nice, big trophy full-o-beans, I say. If I win a race again I gotta try that.

I'm rambling and it might have something to do with the fact that I rode 62 miles and chased it with three serving suggestions of beer in orange cans. So, since the beer and endorphins are doing most of the talking today I'll try to summarize:

• What's up with the whole "serving suggestion" thing on food packages and why do packages of food need to be so suggestive?
  
• How cum if it's a cartoon it doesn't count? Let's say Lightning McQueen was holding up the Piston Cup on a can of beans, and simply due to the fact that he's an animated-american, he's not eligible to be a serving suggestion. That's not fair and it pisses me off.


• My Rice-A-Roni is probably burning and I have to go now.


• Bye