The rider, the horse and how they apply to drunk students

I went to a seminar yesterday; "Dealing with Difficult People".

I sharpened my saw and put new tools in my tool box.

That's professional seminar-speak for "spent 4 hours sitting on my fanny listening".

It was well worth my employer's money. Many things stuck with me, which I will share.

The Conscious/Unconscious Mind

Everyone has a part of their mind that is conscious. This part of the mind is paying close attention to what your doing or saying. This is like the "rider on the horse" which must control the reigns. This encompasses 3% of the brain's activity.

Then, there's remaining 97%, which is the unconscious part of the mind. This is the "horse". If the rider does not steer the horse, the horse keeps chugging along. This is the part of the mind that dictates "habit" in people's behavior, like when you drive, etc.

The good news is you can train your rider to stop the horse or change it's direction with enough practice. If a person exhibits bad habits, which hurt or stress you, that person's horse has an abnormally large ass that shits all over the place and everyone. This makes you want to shoot the horse. But, you shouldn't, because that just gives you a dead horse body to clean up.

Reading People

I learned that you can override your rider and respond more accordingly by understanding people better. This involves tuning into their communication. The problem is, only 7% of communication comes from words. For mimes, it is as little as 0%. The rest comes from tone (37%) and body language (55%). For example, as I am typing this I am also saying every word in a high-pitched voice like Michael Jackson and grabbing my crotch, but you would never know from just reading it.

Body language is gestures, facial expressions, posture and attire. Keep an eye out for these indications of bad body language that might occur at work or in your personal life:

• A co-worker sits across from you with his/her arms folded, indicating closure to your ideas.


• An employee wears a "I hate you and I don't want to be here" button to work.


• The person you are courting or in a relationship with has sex with another person.*

* May be acceptable if you are also having sex with the other person simultaneously

These are all behaviors indicating a unhealthy situation that must be swiftly resolved. A sensitive person can become attuned to picking these up.

Resolving Bad Behaviors

Beliefs cause people's attitudes which in turn, cause behaviors. Soon after my seminar, curiously enough, I was given the opportunity to use my new tools. I was confronted by a student exhibiting bad behavior in lab class. The student smelled of strongly of liquor, was slurring slightly and making potentially offensive statements like "I couldn't get my pre-lab assignment done because I met a big-boobied girl today!".

These behaviors do not arise on their own. They are caused at the root by beliefs. In this case, the student believed that he could drink before class. This in turn, caused him to have the attitude that he could get drunk before class and manifested itself in his getting drunk before class.

Luckily, this can be resolved using "Assertive Communication". Notice, this technique begins with the three letters "Ass". An example:

"For the sake of" (insert relationship, environment, etc.), "when you" (state behavior) "and" (state result of behavior) "happens", "I feel" (state emotion). "What I want is (state the solution). "Can we agree to" (again state solution)?

Applied to my situation, this could be applied as follows:

"For the sake of the safety of others, when you come to class completely shit-faced and you say stuff about women's boobies, I feel jealous. What I want is for you to come to class sober. Can we agree to come to class sober?"

So, I dunno what you think. But, I think I have truly earned this certificate.


If not, I would appreciate you telling me your ideas. Sober.