Customer Relations Dept.
REALIME Lime Juice
Columbus, OH 43215
To whom it may concern,
I drink your lime juice all of the time. I get the little plastic green limes at the grocery store and I drink straight out of them. Yes, it's a little sour. The "fake" plastic limes are cute and are great decorations. People tell me I'm different. But, I'm a nice guy, I love fruit juice and would never want to hurt anybody.
Tuesday, my personal trainer, Lamar, told me this was one of the worst summers ever for Lime Disease. Lately, I have had some episodes of stomach upset the last couple of times I drank lime juice. Do I have Lime disease? Do you think I should switch to lemon juice? I picked up some little plastic lemons at the grocery store and I have been drinking them in place of the limes. But, they suck. No pun intended.
Anyhoo, could you have one of your nerdy scientists tell me what the odds of contracting Lime disease are? If they are really low (like one in ten or less), I'll just go back to drinking the lime juice. After all, you can't spend your whole life looking over your shoulder, huh?
Fruitfully yours,
Mike Citroso
P.S. Does "Lemon-Aid" help with Lime disease or am I just reaching? I have no medical training whatsoever and my questions might seem a little niave.
Their response:
Dear Mr. Citroso,
Thank you very much for your complimentary letter anout ReaLime Lime Juice. We strive to produce the finest products on the market, and it is gratifying to know our consumers are pleased with our efforts.
The Lyme Disease your trainer is talking about is a disease spread by ticks. It has nothing to do with our lime juice. However, you may want to consider drinking the product with water; it is an acidic product.
Please accept the enclosed coupon with our compliments. We appreciate your past patronage and look forward to serving you as a satisfied customer.
Sincerely,
Hewitt Smith
Consumer Representative
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