Stupid Letter Series #2: 3M

Remember back in the 90's when we were all-consumed with the "Y2K problem" and we were all wondering if we were doomed when the century turned?

3M Corporation
3M Center
St. Paul, Mn 55144

July 14, 1999

To whom it may concern,

I was shopping the other day and I noticed M&M's is the "official candy of the year 2000". Get it? 2 M means 2,000 in Spanish numerals or something like that. I thought that was cute, but it got me to thinking; 3M should be the official company of the year 3,000.

I think I'm the first person to come up with this idea. Therefore, I would to be your commercial spokesperson when you advertise this gimmick as the year 3,000 draws nearer. I think it's only fair. Please write back and tell me what you think.

Before I go, I have one more question. Have you begun to address the "year 3,000 problem" yet? Are your computers "year 3,000 compliant"? If not, it's never too soon to start!

Sincerely,


Mike Cammestaro

Their response:

Dear Mike:

Thanks for your letter - and your great idea!

We think your concept will play well with our customers in the year 3,000. In fact, we've spoken with many of them already and they've all enthusiastically made their reservations for our huge Y3MK Blow-Out New Year's Bash!

We also agree that you should be our spokesperson and thank you for volunteering. We'd like to get on your calendar now, starting January 1, 2998 if we could, to begin production of daily updates to all 3M employees, customers and suppliers that we'll deliver via brain-chip downloads throughout 2998 and 3000. We're planning on many promotions during this three (M) year celebration! (At least one for each of the 3(M) million products we'll have at that time. We're now at 50,000 and counting.)

Of course, since this will be a constant demand on your time, you should clear up your entire calendar for that three (M) year period. While we're aware that this may make it difficult to carry on other activities with your family or job, we'll work hard to create a schedule that will allow you three (M) days off -- it's the least we can do!

We also understand that you'll expect some small compensation. Please accept this official Y3MK gift box, with our grateful appreciation for the time you'll devote in 1,000 years to our common, great cause -- the growth of 3M!

Sincerely,


Ron Wenaas
3M Public Relations
(On special assignment to the Y3MK planning team)

P.S. Regarding your final question. We can say unequivocally that all 3M computers, products and systems may be Y3K compliant. We've also begun planning for the Y10K problem. I can hardly wait for that one!


The letter came with a box full of all sorts of 3M stuff; too numerous to mention.