Everybody is "Horny" this time of year!

Ah...spring.

Time when the "Honky's" come out.

Don't worry, I'm "takin' it back".

Honky: Noun, [Hong-keee] People who honk at cyclists on the road.

There are three classifications of "honks" one encounters when on a bike:

1) "Happy" Honk
2) "I hate you and get off the road"
3) "This car is equipped with a horn that is in working condition"

Spring is the time for honks type 1 and 2. People start saying to themselves "Hey, look at these two-wheeled things on the road!".

The "Happy" Honk: Small toots of short duration. I get these when I do hill repeats on Linden Ave in Miamisburg or Wilmngton Rd. near Lebanon. It means "Good job, sporty guy!". They are usually followed by a "thumbs up" or other symbol of encouragement. I usually respond with a wave. What a joy to receive these. God bless you folks in Miamisburg and Lebanon.

The "I hate you and get off the road" Honk: This is a long, constant blast followed by a middle finger or launching of a ballistic particle, such as a McDonald's Big Mac. I used to ignore these. But, in my old age I am getting cranky and I have been returning the bird when I can escape safely to the rail trail. I can ride no hands and so some recipients earn the "double bird". Yeah.

I got a type 2 honk today. From some old folks. Must be that Metamucil kicked in and they were in a hurry. But, ironically, I was simply riding with the flow of traffic in such a way that didn't cost them any time. They were taking a left turn and I was riding right past them. They looked at me as if to say "do you have a license to be on the road?".

I didn't give them the bird. I only return the bird. I did feel like giving their windshield a squirt with by water bottle though.

I shoulda done that. The old Foopers.

Bye.