Bake Yo Ass a Chicken!

So, this whole economic crisis thing looks serious. Like, really serious.

We gotta pull together, folks. Americans are spending too much money. Lets reel that in.

And I can hear you saying: How, skinny guy?

I say to you...

Americans! Bake yo ass a chicken!

Do it for the United States of Spamerica!

Seriously, it's not just the three glasses of wine talking. I think we curtail our costs by cookin' for our damn self! If you already cook for yo damn self, do it more!

Dammit!

I took my family out to Applebees a little while ago.

'Dat shit cost us 65 bucks.

For less a quarter that much, you can eat like royalty.

Here's how you do it:*

• Go to the grocery sto'!
• Buy yo self a big ass chicken, a 10 pound sack a potatoes and a bag of froze up spinach!
  
• Sprinkle some salt n pepa an put 'dat bird in 'da oven
• Wrap dose taters in some foil and put dat in 'da oven too
  
• Bake all dat shit!
• Empty the spinach and nuke 'dat shit in a big ass bowl.
  
• After 90 minutes, take it out and eat dat shit!
• Leave 'da oven open to heat 'da house.
  
• Yum!
  

Holy cow. For the last hundred words I think I just channeled my grandfather. He grew up in North Carolina. Well, he didn't say "shit" much. That part was all me.

Shit!

I guess what I'm saying is...if things are really this economically shitty, don't you think we could stay in a cook for ourselves more? Don't you think it's just as easy, just as good and wayyyy cheaper?

Dontcha think?

Hah?

Whatcha think?

Shit!

*Please do not bake shit or eat chicken with your ass. Those are only euphemisms, or figures of speech. Thank you for reading my blog, have a nice day. Do not heat house with oven still going and door open when cat might jump in. Do not bake chicken while still alive. Side effects include clucking like a chicken and walking with your head wagging back and forth. Do not choke your chicken.