A Night With The Aquabats

My head still pounding, ears still ringing and liver still swollen from the night before with The Toasters, I set out to make a road trip to Cleveland, Ohio and the Agora Ballroom. I was advised that the Agora is not located the friendliest neighborhoods. But, I was willing to flirt with danger to see the ultimate kings of nerd-core, The Aquabats.

I also needed to prove to the world I wasn't Agoraphobic.

The Trek

The trip flowed smoothly, until the last 20 miles. This is region where I am told Canada passes gas on us, which flows over warm Lake Erie producing lake effect snows. The snow was falling hard and fast, like some sort of strong metaphor that requires too much thought from a hung over person. Emboldened by my five years of winter experience in Buffalo, NY and the fact that my car is a total piece of shit, I pressed on.

It was times like this I wish I had fixed my broken windshield wiper fluid motor pump thingy and did not have to resort to a wind blown cycling water bottle squirt done arm dangling out the side window.

When pulling in to the venue, I asked the parking attendant when the storm was supposed to let up. Monday, he replied. That information cut my beer quota in half.

The Show

Harsh weather aside, the Agora was packed. As the third oldest person there, I could appreciate the youthful exuberance and sweatiness of the mob that was soon to be come a swirling pit of humanity. The Bats opened with Fashion Zombies and my mind exploded with excitement and child-like joy.



Quite often, I found myself giggling at the stock video clips that ran on the projection screen behind; scenes from Japanese sumo wrestlers, old Godzilla movies, space films, etc.

After a side skit involving a golden idol and a white buffalo, the plot of which I think was really driven by the purchase of a cheap costume somewhere on tour, the real suprise came about two thirds of the way through the show:


This was the "Hooray for the Holidays" tour. And a mystery guest was soon to arrive...

He was dressed in red and white...

He seemed jolly...

Yes, the Magic Chicken joined the bats on stage, dancing and clucking to the song which is his namesake.


It was beautiful.

The most clever rock & roll "fake ending" ever...

Sadly, we were two songs from the end. The bats said "good night" and left the stage. Naturally, the crowd was chanting "Aquabats" and sticking around for their reappearance. Meanwhile, the projection screen showed film of them high-fiving each other and leaving the outside of the venue. They hopped on horses, firing six shooters in the air.

Suddenly, they stopped riding...

Do you hear that? M.C. Bat Commander announced?

That's just crickets. Jimmy the Robot replied.

No it isn't? That's kids at the show! They want us to come back and play some more songs! We better get back!

And, so they did, riding their horses, it took them 30 seconds or so for them to reappear.

They closed with Captain Hampton and Awesome Forces.

Summary

Critics of the Bats have maligned them for losing their brass and abandoning their ska roots. I am happy to report, that Jimmy The Robot played his sax more than his keys. For some songs, they invited the trumpeter from the warm up band and got their ska on like they did at the turn of the century.

The Aquabats are also a breath of fresh air when choosing obscure music usually means bitchy, f-bomb rock. Their message is nauseatingly positive to the point of sarcasm. You'll be hard pressed to find a cuss word. What's more important, they celebrate all things silly. I appreciate that. There's part of me who wants to forget all the bitching I've heard all day and listen to a song about a martian girl or Powdered Milk Man or what not. As a result, I feel encouraged at times like later that night when I visited the highway rest area traveler's log, signed my name and wrote "I went poopie!" in the comments section. Life is too serious already and The Aquabats provide a respite.

This trip also allowed me to spend some serious quality time with my favorite person. If The Aquabats invade this area again, I will be there.

Perhaps, someone will go with me.