Stupid Football Announcer Cliches I Hate

Include the following:

"Burning" a timeout

Timeouts are not flammable. They do not have a carbon chain. They don't have mass or take up space. Timeouts are not matter. They are purely conceptual and this make them decidedly non-flammable. If timeouts were flammable, we wouldn't have an energy crisis in this country, especially in the NBA. So, I repeat, you don't "burn" a timeout. You "call" a timeout or "use" a time out. Thank you.

"He gets stronger as the game goes on!"

With the exception of body odor, nobody gets stronger as the game goes on. Go find me someone who can play a entire 60 minute football game and tell me at the end "Wow, I feel stronger!". What really happens? Everyone gets tired as the game goes on. Some players, particularly the ones on anabolic steroids, get less tired and when compared to the more tired players, they seem stronger. That's what's really going on here.

"Muffing" a punt

For some reason, when punting, if you drop the ball or fail to drop it on your foot, you didn't "botch" the punt or "flub" the punt, you "muffed" the punt. Why do the words "muff" and "punt" always need to go together? I don't know. But, I think I'll quit there because I feel like I'm treading on dangerous territory.

"If he *insert thing player should have done* it would have been a touchdown for sure!"

Hey, Mr. Announcer Guy. You don't know that. Sure, he might have had a lot of open field in front of him and no one chasing him. But, do you know for sure that if the dude caught the ball or picked up the fumble he would have absolutely, undoubtedly and with 100% probability strolled in for a touchdown? I've seen times where guys running for touchdowns give up running and then a speedy little sneaky guy like Don Beebe catches him, pooches the ball out from behind and causes a fumble. Dude could be running down the field and one of Tonya Harding's goons could hop out and whack him with a pipe. How do you always know what's going to happen next in life, Mr. Smarty Pants?! Do you know what word I am going to type next? Bleeble! You would have never guessed I was going to type "Bleeble". So, please allow events in life to unfold as they may. That's why people like sports, because it's different every time.

Okay, that's all.

I feel like I've left it all out on the field and given 110%.