A Good Resume

Who needs a good resume? It's just a piece of paper.

Oh yeah?

What happens in this tough labor market, if your resume really sucks? As a first-level manager of almost 8 years, I cannot stress enough the importance of a good resume. And, so I thought I would take some time to share what goes into a good resume.

Young professionals, a resume is more than a just a simple piece of paper. It's a two-dimensional extension of your entire existence. It represents your past, present and future. It is a symbol of all you can or ever will be. A beacon of what's forthcoming from you as you pour your being into your new identity and self. It is the liberation of your soul from dark into light.

But, what happens if your resume is not acceptable? You send it to the place of employment and the hiring manager is not impressed. Then, he or she crumples it up into a tight little wad and throws it into the waste paper basket! But, the shot is off and it falls to the floor and then some guy walking by picks it up and slams it into the waste basket really hard like Shaq, pretending it's an offensive rebound, and even further dissing you.

Or, in this day and age of privacy and records retention, they look at your resume and then laugh at it mockingly together while their cigar smoke billows into the air and they shred it into a million pieces in the paper shredder rendering it totally unrecognizable from it's original form. Then maybe, someone in the office has a young cat who was just de-clawed and for a week they were told by the vet to use shredded paper instead of kitty litter so the kitty's sutures don't open back up. So, this person takes home the shredded paper which includes what once was your resume and all week, tiny bits of your resume are being peed and pooped on and then clawed at and mixed up with kitty pee and poop.

If this doesn't motivate you to make sure you have a good resume, nothing will.

So, now, what is the secret to a good resume?

The margins. Make sure you have the margins right. It's all in those margins.

Now go. Use this information and knock 'em dead with that dynamite resume of yours...

...that has awesome margins.

Bye.