Packing for vacation: Normal Guy vs. Cyclist Guy

Normal guy packs:

clothes
toiletries
laptop computer
a good book or two


Cyclist guy packs:

clothes
toiletries (with extra razors and TAG spray)
laptop computer
cycling "porno mags" (bike gear catalogs)
cycling clothes (about 6 sets)
bike rack
time trial bike
road bike
mountain bike
extra road wheels
time trial disk wheel
extra tubes
chain lube
grease
tools
road helmet
time trial helmet
road shoes
mountain bike shoes
floor pump
mini-pump
17 Clif Bars
water bottles
brown rice
all the stuff to support my eBay business that helps pay for this shit

Cyclist guy is so daunted by this task he hasn't even started yet.

* sigh *