Suburban World War II: The Japanese Beetles

Now that we have conquered woodchucks, it's time fight another front; the Japanese Beetles.

I have another childhood memory. It involves Japanese Beetles. When Mickey's Mom hung laundry on the clothes line out back, the Japanese Beetles would land on it. Well, one time, I put on a fresh, clean pair of Underoos and there was a Japanese beetle was in there...

...and he bit me in the naughty bits.

Ouch! I said.

You never forget something that bit you in the naughty bits. So, as prejudiced as it sounds, I don't care much for Japanese beetles.

Now, I'm all growed up and I live in the suburbs. To earn the respect of my neighbors, I planted three of my favorite trees in the front lawn.

But, the Japanese beetles like it too! They look like this:



And, they have the munchies for Plum trees. They have taken over completely, converting the area with the three trees to Tokyo, Osaka and some other Japaneese city I can't recall because I didn't study much in high school.

Now, it's time for war.

I went to the Home Army Depot, to procure weapons.

There's this spray stuff called Sevin, which is like a H-bomb for Japanese beetles. It's spelled "Sevin" instead of "Seven" because the people who make it are dealing with poison and they can't think straight. Also, Pat Riley copyrighted the word "Seven".

Anyhow, I bought a bottle, hopped in my car and headed back to the battleground.

But, as I hopped in my car a Japanese beetle came out of nowhere and flew at me!

Toyashahinga! He screamed, as he dive bombed me.

* Actually, "Toyashahinga" is a word I just made up. Sounds Japanese though, doesn't it? *

So, I used my bottle of Sevin spray...

...to smash him.

Stuff works good!

Bye.